Parenting Doctors Podcast

Overcoming An Ambivalent Attachment History

As parents, we have to overcome our histories to be excellent.  If you were raised in anger, you have to overcome that reinforcement history and respond in different ways than how you were trained.  If you grew up regularly criticized, you will have to overcome a tendency on your part to find the negative and overreact with the heavy hand of criticism.  

Ambivalent soothing and ambivalence in the attachment relationship is a very tough thing to overcome.  But, consistency is the goal!  

Validating Emotion with Sincerity

It is important to teach children how to validate emotion.  Interestingly, it helps kids to remind them that they don't even have to agree when they validate emotion.  An apology requires sincerity with minimizing.  

 

Balancing Privacy and Protection With Teenagers' Social Media

Balancing Privacy and Protection With Teenagers' Social Media

1) Encourage Transparency

2) Smart Technology

3) Social Media Family Standards (and Limits)

 

 

How To Be The Best Sports Parent You Can Be

Sports has three goals for kids: 1.  To learn how to follow directions from somebody besides your parent; 2. To develop character which including learning to be unselfish; 3. To have FUN!  

In this brief podcast, I identify a key book that every sports parent should read.  John Tauer's book, 

Why LESS is MORE for WOSPs (Well-Intentioned, Overinvolved Sports Parents): How to Be the Best Sports Parent You Can Be

Dismantling Disagreeableness: You Can Agree or Negotiate

You can Agree

 

Or

 

You can Negotiate

 

The goal of negotiation is three-fold:

 

• Develop PUP – poise under pressure
• Help children Accept that they have choices. They don’t have to agree. 
• Reinforces negotiation and teaches them to think critically.

School Anxiety: Separation Anxiety Part 2

This is a large topic.  Some of the keys include what parents can do and what teachers can do.

Besides psychological treatment, let's discuss some things parents can do.  I remind us of the behavioral rehearsal, specifically the goodbye ritual.  Another reminder of healthy attachment with two moments of warmth per day.   A reminder of the importance of speaking good into our children / and calling good out of them.  

Some things for teachers to consider, besides parents open to their words and influence, thus maintaining open communication with parents to give them that chance, and open communication with the counselor, include scaling anxiety and safe zones - while sensitive of potential for avoidance.  

Separation Anxiety

This is a large topic but I wanted to give you some quick solutions.  First, we need to be aware of how the meltdown may be behavioral, emotional, or an attachment issue.  Second, we want to address the issue of reinforcement - there are things we do that reinforce tantrums.  "You must go to the coffee appt."  "You must go to the job interview."  Or, the child needs to go to school.  

I provide an example of a goodbye ritual that can make a difference.  

Loving Angry Children

We have an extensive video on our youtube channel that articulates the five golden coins of loving angry children!  Check us out at www.parentingdoctors.com

This podcast focuses on the key points in a few minutes.  

Nip Negative Cycles in the Bud by Speaking Good Into Children

Children will go down the rabbit holes of negative cycles.  Sometimes these cycles include manipulation or passive aggressive behavior.  Parents can nip these behaviors in the bud by speaking good into children.  Nip Negative Cycles in the Bud by Speaking Good Into Children!

Finding The Perfect Gymnastics Center

In our first parenting podcast of the year, we return to explore decision making.  Many parents are susceptible to approaching their parenting as maximizers versus Satisficers.  Maximizers will go to 10 stores in order to find the perfect pair of jeans.  Satisficers will be content with the jeans at the first store because they are "good enough."  So often, we as parents put our "maximizer mentality" on our kids.  This mentality is a new kind of "snowplow parenting" (the cousin of the helicopter parent), but they inevitably plow before the snow comes.  

Nothing is good enough.  

Hard to please.

Unwilling to sit with coaches, teachers, or pastors to work through problems.  Instead, moving on becomes the norm for parents seeking the Perfect "fill in the blank."