Parenting Doctors Podcast: What We Were Never Taught

Truth Emerges Out Of A Relationship

Today's podcast is about an argument between a father and a son.  A father goes on to try to enforce the son to tell the truth with discipline, consequences, and punishment. 

When situations develop within the family, truth emerges out of a relationship.  When there are parent-child power struggles, multiple perspective can develop.  Parents involved in family details may develop elaborate consequences but this will not deliver the truth.  Love and the relationship is what brings forth the truth.  

See Dr. Dan's new book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1935576062/?tag=medrounpublic-20#customerReviews

 

Respectful Disagreement

Many parents inquire about "encouraging disagreement."  It might sound better if I emphasize "allowing disagreement."  Many ask, "What does that mean?"

The new generation of healthy families consists of multiple ideas and perspectives.  If teens don't feel heard, they feel shut down.  If pre-teens aren't respected, you come across as a tyrant.  If young children aren't encourage to think on their own, their ability to think for themselves is dimnished.  These individuals might then be easily moved and manipulated by a charismatic personality, for example.  

This podcast discusses key aspects of respectful disagreement in the family.

See Dr. Dan's new book - https://www.amazon.com/dp/1935576062/?tag=medrounpublic-20#customerReviews

Tough Adolescents: Exiting, Waiting, & Overlooking

I present two interventions today that can make a difference, along with some key tips for healthy functioning when dealing with a tough adolescent.  

See Dr Dan’s new book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1935576062/?tag=medrounpublic-20

 

Stop Pathologizing Childhood With Specific Problem Solving

Many parents pathologize childhood using terms like "He's an attention seeker," OR "She's so oppositional," OR "He's a tormentor," OR "He's A defiant kid!"  

These kinds of vague descriptions may help us cope, but they do nothing to help children help.  We need to help kids recognize that behavior is based on choices.    

We offer a 5-step specific problem solving method that is the answer to these behavior problems that all kids have.  

See Dr Dan’s new book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1935576062/?tag=medrounpublic-20

Helping Kids With More Self Compassion

Kids may be starting school soon.  In FL, school is in full swing.  Many schools are completing their first full week.  Some of the kids are in a "candy store."  Many others are overwhelmed.  Kids are experiencing pressure, stress, and demands.  Lots are being asked of them. 

We want to reinforce self-compassion! I also provide a mindfulness technique using smell that can help kids get out of their overwhelm, into the present, and experience less stress.  

Tutoring for Video Games????

Parents are paying $20 an hour and sometimes as much as $50 an hour for video game tutors.  What's the problem with tutors?

1) Lowering self esteem and confidence 

2) Reinforcing addiction (video game)

3) Reinforcing followship rather than leadership

 

See Dr. Dan's new book:  https://www.amazon.com/dp/1935576062/?tag=medrounpublic-20

Are you dealing with a child with an anger problem and you don’t know what to do?

Check out the following videos at our Parenting Doctors youtube channel:

The Dr. van Ingen Clinical Psychology & Parenting Show on Anger.

(Dr. Dan and Professor Dr. Sarah present together) on Loving Angry Children: 5 Golden Coin Insights to Working with Anger in Families

This week's podcast presents 5 techniques, 5 ART's: Anger Reduction Techniques, that can help both parents and their children (kids, preteens, teens) when they are experiencing a cross over the threshold and into the therapeutic zone.  

Check out Dr. Dan's new parenting book available at https://www.amazon.com/dp/1935576062/?tag=medrounpublic-20

 

No Phones At Dinner

We live in a strange Digital Culture.  Everyone revolving their lives around cell phones.  But, not everyone.  Healthy Families are working against these water currents.  Healthy families have parents who say "No Phones At Dinner!"  

Check out Dr. Dan's book You Are Your Child's Best Psychologist at Amazon now.  

 https://www.amazon.com/dp/1935576062/?tag=medrounpublic-20

 

 

Valuing & Sharing Our Failure Stories

I share some of my failures in life, mostly growing up.  In my book: You Are Your Child's Best Psychologist https://www.amazon.com/dp/1935576062/?tag=medrounpublic-20

I mention that parents should know their top 10.  I share some of my top 10 and other minor failures.  

I'm a big proponent of being unafraid of anxiety.

Likewise I'm a big fan of being unafraid of failure.  To help our kids learn to be unafraid of failure, we should share our failures.  Sharing failures builds connections because kids want us to be vulnerable, which does so much more than lecturing does.

Of course, we use wisdom to choose our moments when to share our failure stories.   

Guit VS Shame: Healthy Families Value Guilt But Not Shame

Guilt is good.

Shame is not.